Curse of the Broken Castle

A gloriously broken 3D castle platformer where you pilot a knight with the turning radius of a fridge.

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Jun 8, 2026

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Curse of the Broken Castle

Welcome to the worst-designed dungeon in the kingdom. You are a clumsy knight cursed with tank controls — turn agonizingly slowly, shuffle forward like a rusty wardrobe, and flop into the air with a jump that hangs around far too long.

Pick your way across awkwardly-spaced stone platforms, dodge poorly-placed spikes and bubbling lava, and endure melodramatic dialogue delivered by the worst robotic voice acting ever recorded. The bumbling castle guards don't really care if you escape. Honestly, neither does the narrator.

It's janky. It's goofy. It's meant to be. Can you reach the exit door without rage-quitting?

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